


Broken by him - Mended by destiny

by ShinElisse



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 15:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18448973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinElisse/pseuds/ShinElisse
Summary: “Did you heal me just to break me beyond repair, Jjong?”♥“No, when I found you, it was just so you will never need to be healed again.”





	1. That One Visitor (Final)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago (2016). It was an idea I really liked and I decided that Jongkey was the best suited pair for that. This story is somehow dear to me and I hope that you will like it, too. Tell me what you think of it? ^^

                                                                                                      

 

 

 

 

Kibum was ordinary, outgoing boy who was enjoying his life by living alone, working as a journalist for smaller company and trying new things. He wasn't afraid of accepting new challenges and he wasn't shy when it came to flirting and relationships – yes, the boy liked getting attention and being loved. He has had his share of girlfriends and boyfriends but it didn't mean he was a player, no. On the opposite – it was always him who ended up hurt after his lovers decided they needed something more, or in some cases, they needed someone more serious and less outgoing. It was always sad for Kibum and each time, he blamed himself but it never made him so broken that he would give up, because the boy was very strong, he always got back on his feet by either distracting himself with cooking, dancing and eating or helping out in animal shelters since it always managed to make him feel better.

The boy was being happy now, having a boyfriend for more than a year who was perfect – always complimenting and paying attention to Kibum – and being chosen as the best employee of the year. Everything was almost too perfect but Kibum didn't think about it, why should he? He was just enjoying what he had. And that was a mistake, as he found out later.

 

It was successful day at work and he was walking home after he got a half of day off, lips stretched into smile as the sun was kissing his pale skin. Thinking about cooking some delicious meal, he stopped in a groceries before he went home. Opening the door, he entered his apartment, knowing his boyfriend was there somewhere, however, he didn't expect to hear strange sounds from their bedroom. The closer he walked, the clearer those sounds were and Kibum realized that those were moans. He gulped and was praying that his boyfriend was just watching some stuff but he knew it probably wasn't true because it sounded too real. Taking a deep breath, the boy opened the door just to gasp loudly at sight in front of him – his boyfriend on top of some girl, pounding into her and grunting. When the man spotted Kibum he cursed and jolted away from the girl who seemed to be embarrassed and quickly pulled a blanket to cover her body. Kibum, on the other hand, didn't know how to breath. His heart was rapidly breaking and his eyes watered, lips parting so he could take small gasps for air.

 

“A-ah, this is embarrassing. Is this.. uh, your brother you were talking about?” the girl said in annoyingly high pitched voice but that's not what angered feline like boy.

 

“Brother?” Kibum breathed out, clenching his fists while first tears started falling out of his eyes.

 

“Y-yes, that's him. Look, Yerim, go home and I'll call you later.” The man said awkwardly and the girl complied, dressing up quickly and leaving the apartment, letting the man deal with Kibum. “I- I really don't know what to say, Kibum.” the man said, standing naked in front of his boyfriend.

 

“You.. fucking jerk!” Kibum screamed and threw a punch at the latter's face, catching him off the guard.

 

He groaned and covered his nose, wanting to say something but Kibum tried to keep hitting him. However, the man was stronger and faster, preventing Kibum from hitting him and pushing him on the bed. “Stop! I will not hesitate to return the punch, damn it! I have wanted to do it for a while now so don't tempt me!” the man screamed, making Kibum shiver since he has never seen this side of him.

 

The boy was broken and couldn't stop the tears anymore, his breath turning into sobs because the only time in his life, he thought that he could settle down with someone and now everything was shattered. And he didn't understand why – and so he voiced it. “H-how.. how long? I thought you loved me! Why did you do this to me, Taeil?” he whimpered, looking at the said man.

 

Snorting, Taeil rubbed his face and started dressing up. “You were too easy, Kibum, naïve. I loved your body and the fact that you did everything for me. I will definitely miss your body but that's all. That's all it was to me. I've been seeing people while 'dating' you and.. I'm not sorry. You are too damn hyperactive and excited about every little thing.”

 

Kibum's heart broke completely and he gasped for air, biting his lip pathetically.  _So body, huh.. I'm too easy and naïve, of course I am._ He thought bitterly, closing his eyes before looking at his now ex-boyfriend. “Get out. Get. Out. GET THE HELL OUT!!!!” he screamed and the man complied without second thought, leaving Kibum alone and crying his heart out.

 

 _I was never more than just a body for pleasure,_ he sobbed, sinking down from the bed which he will throw out later because he had no idea how many people has Taeil screwed there.  _I was always just a naïve guy, making people's wishes come true,_ he cried out, curling into a ball while his fists were pressed against his eyes as if it could make all the pain disappear. But it didn't, it just made him think about whole that year he spent with that man, whole year he's been lied to, felt loved though it never was true.  _What is love then?_ Was his last thought after straight four hours of crying before he finally fell asleep.

 

 

When the boy woke up next day, he started crying while he called a company to get the bed and throw it out. He didn't care he didn't have a bed, he could sleep on the couch but he couldn't stand a sight of that piece of furniture. He ignored the stares from men who came fetch the bed and later on, he ignored even his empty stomach begging for food. He just didn't have a will to live normal life anymore, he was too broken. He didn't eat, drinking only when he was feeling too thirsty and he barely slept, crying at random times and doing absolutely nothing – only sitting or lying on his couch.

Two weeks passed and Kibum got sick from lack of food and water, but he didn't care much, only pitying himself more. He knew he was being pathetic but this was blow he wasn't ready for. He got bunch of calls from his friends and his boss but he ignored his boss and texted his friends to leave him alone – he didn't want to see or hear anyone.

Another month passed and Kibum got too sick. He was throwing up and couldn't properly stand on his feet, he was too weak and he didn't like it so he called an ambulance who came as soon as they could. They wanted to take Kibum with them but the boy resisted and told them to just give him medicine and that he could survive like that. The doctors didn't agree and Kibum didn't get a chance to resist more because he fainted.

Next time he woke up, he noticed that the room was too bright and too white. It took him more than ten minutes to understand that he was in a hospital which didn't make him happy at all. They kept him there for few days and when they discarged him, he was almost fully recovered. The doctor scolded him and ordered him to eat and drink properly, and the boy could only nod and leave just to go to his empty apartment. He didn't let himself to become sick again but he still refused to go out or eat in normal times. He was just like a body without soul, person without heart.

One week later, he found a voicemail from his boss, saying he has lost his job and he didn't mind it, knowing that he wouldn't be able to work again for a while. He decided to clean his apartment and throw out all the things that belonged to that man he refused to think of – though it was pure attempt because he was still the only thing Kibum could think about.

Cleaning his apartment turned out to be bad idea because in the middle of cleaning, boy became crying mess since most of those things reminded him Taeil.

 

It was the same evening when he was sitting on a couch and crying silently that he felt something strange happen in the apartment and he looked up from the couch just to see someone he has never met in his life. Kibum widened his eyes and kept staring at the man, not being able to scream or even blink. The man was handsome – his hair suited tanned color of his skin and his jaw was so sharp while his lips were almost sinful, plush and now parted in surprise, his eyes were beautiful, reminding Kibum of a puppy or cute dinosaur and though his body looked short it also looked very muscular and his arms strong – exactly the type of guy Kibum would notice in the street. However, there was something wrong. Goosebumps appeared on Kibum's skin and he shivered when his eyes finally took in the last thing he over-looked. The man didn't look like he was made of normal flesh because he was a bit transparent.

Gasping, Kibum jumped up from the couch, seemingly startling the man, too.  _G-ghost_??!!!

 

“What the hell!” he shouted but it came out only as raspy sound because the boy was mute for too long.

 

“You.. you can see me??” the boy's soft and soothing voice was heard and Kibum would definitely like it if he wasn't frightened.

 

“Of course I can! Shit! What are you doing her- NO, Who the hell are you??!!” Kibum shouted again and grabbed a book that was next to him, immediately throwing it at the boy.

 

The said ghost boy looked surprised as the object was flying toward him and he made a gesture of putting his hands in front of him as if to protect himself from pain, however, the book just flew right through him. Kibum's face turned pale and his breath hitched, eyes looking up into  ~~beautiful~~  startled ones before everything went black.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Jonghyun was aware of everything that happened to him. He remembered his name, age, his family, life, everything – even the way he became a ghost. Yes, that's right, he was a ghost after one car accident. He was heading home from work when a drunk driver drove right into his car. He felt so much pain and smelled blood before darkness ate all his vision, and then, he woke up in unfamiliar apartment. At first, he thought that he was dreaming about the accident or that maybe his parents took him home but when he stood up and looked around the apartment, he was confused because he has never been in that place. Walking around, he passed by the mirror and that's when he realized he couldn't see himself there which freaked him out and if he was alive he would have fainted. But he was dead. This thought crashed down on the boy and he felt like crying because he couldn't do anything he wanted to, he had no time to do it now.

After some time of pitying himself, he tried to leave the apartment but he couldn't. People say that ghosts can fly or walk through walls because they are not alive anymore – but Jonghyun found out that he couldn't pass through wall. He could only walk through opened door and yet, he was unable to leave apartment through the open window. He didn't know why but he gave up on trying and instead spent his time looking at things properly. He saw few photos of very beautiful and pretty boy, smiling brightly and showing off his dimple which made Jonghyun smile and bit his lip. The boy in that picture was adorable and Jonghyun found himself craving to meet him. Which later came true because sometime about evening, the door opened, revealing the exact boy from photos on his walls. He was even more beautiful up close and Jonghyun felt happiness build inside of him. The boy was smiling and blushing lightly, making Jonghyun wonder what could have happened to make his so happy. He watched the boy, how he cooked while swaying his hips, how he sang along some song and how he ate before he took a shower and went to sleep. Jonghyun felt pang of sadness that he couldn't talk to the boy though he didn't know why he felt like that, he didn't know the boy at all. But in the end, Jonghyun felt content with watching him.

Few days passed – very long boring days since the boy was working or out somewhere – and Jonghyun couldn't stop smiling because each time the boy would come home, he would be smiling and blushing, sometimes evening sighing happily. The ghost boy was very curious about why Kibum (he found out his name later) looked so happy, and the next day he got his answer when Kibum entered his apartment with another man, smiling and holding hands. Jonghyun didn't like the vibe the other guy gave out, there was something bad about him but he still made Kibum happy so it was okay. What he didn't expect though, was to see those two boys starting making-out passionately until the place was filled with pleasured moans and groans. Jonghyun was blushing furiously and tried to get as far from the bedroom as he could, doing his best to tune out all those lewd sounds, feeling himself react to Kibum's moans. It was the first night he endured the act, but it wasn't the last. More nights and days like that came and Jonghyun started hating the place he was trapped in just because he found himself wishing he could be the one with beautiful cat-like boy. The ghost boy was easily attached to people even when he was alive, you see. He was soft guy who liked pleasing people and he always chose his lovers based on their hearts, not appearances and now living 'with' Kibum, he saw how amazing the guy was.

Soon, Kibum's boyfriend – Taeil – started practically living in that apartment, being there every second or third day, making Kibum stay at home most of the time which was nice. But Kibum still had work and Taeil stayed in his place anyway. It was one day when Kibum was working that Taeil brought there some guy. Jonghyun was surprised, thinking that it was his friend or maybe family, but what happened next conviced him it was no such a thing. Kibum's boyfriend cheated on him. Jonghyun got angry and screamed at the boy but as expected, no one heard him. It was terrible and the ghost boy's heart clenched painfully at the thought of Kibum who had no idea what was happening since once the boy came home, that bastard acted all lovey-dovey with him.

It was the first but definitely not the last time it happened. Taeil started bringing different people into the apartment and had his fun with them which made Jonghyun disgusted.

A lie has short legs though, so it was bound to happen when one day Kibum came home sooner to find his lover cheating on him. Seeing broken Kibum was the worst thing in the world and Jonghyun could swear he has never felt so hurt himself. All he wanted was for the boy to be happy. But it just got worse because Kibum stopped eating, drinking and caring altogether. Jonghyun tried to talk some sense into him but the boy didn't hear him which made Jonghyun scream and growl in frustration. Watching the boy becoming even more sick was painful and it left the ghost boy worried. One day, an ambulance came and took the boy with them after he fainted. Jonghyun tried his best to follow them but even through the opened door, he couldn't leave Kibum's place. He was so worried about the boy, so restless until the door opened and revealed much better looking boy. The brightness in his eyes was still lacking and his lips weren't curled into smile he liked but he was alright and that was all that mattered for Jonghyun. Kibum got better, not forgetting to eat and drink but he was still in bad condition which just got worse when he decided to clean up his place and throw away that bastard's things. The boy was crying for a long time again and Jonghyun wished he could help him. He was willing to exchange anything for his happiness. He would be willing to pass on becoming alive again (if that was possible) just to see the boy happy again. It surprised him, how deeply he cared for the boy but he didn't regret it because the boy was worth everything, he deserved to be loved.

That exact evening, something happened. The boy was silently crying on his couch and Jonghyun was helplessly standing there like always, trying to send any kind of soothing vibes toward the boy who, as always, didn't feel anything. But then, the boy looked up and Jonghyun's heart skipped a beat. He could swear that the boy was looking AT him, not through him like any other time.  _But that's ridiculous, isn't it? I'm a ghost._ He chuckled internally but grew nervous because it really seemed like the boy was checking him out. Kibum's gasp startled Jonghyun and then, when his feline eyes met Jonghyun's again and the boy jumped up, he knew that something wasn't right. The boy said something and Jonghyun just dumbly asked him if he could see him which made the boy shout few things and throw a book at him. Jonghyun instinctively raised his hands to protect himself but the book just flew right through him, bringing very unpleasant feeling to him but he didn't have a time to react because he heard Kibum's breath hitch and he fell down, fainting.

 

“Shit! Kibum!” Jonghyun shouted and ran to Kibum, kneeling next to him but he couldn't touch or shake him, making the ghost boy growl in frustration again.

 

He was worried but could do nothing else, just sit there and wait for the boy to wake up. When the boy didn't wake up throughout the night, Jonghyun was worried that he was dead but the boy's body kept moving lightly with each breath he took so the ghost boy calmed down, softly singing a song which was Kibum's favorite as he found out few weeks ago, and he wished he could pick the boy up and place him on the couch, cover him with blanket so he wouldn't get sick in his fragile state. When the sun started raising on the sky, Jonghyun slowly stood up and decided to move further from the boy just so he wouldn't get a heartattack if he woke up and saw him.  _But what if he won't see me?_ The boy was troubled and became nervous, standing next to the door, leaning against the frame – it was very convenient that he couldn't sink into the wall.

The watch showed 9am when Kibum's body moved and he whimpered, probably from lying in that uncomfortable position whole night. As if the sudden realization hit the boy, he froze but still didn't open his eyes, his lips barely visibly moving. He was talking to himself, debating and Jonghyun has never felt more nervous – not even on his first day in college, or his first job interview – it was almost ridiculous how he cared about the boy's opinion. It took Kibum exactly ten minutes to speak, his voice shaking.

 

“You.. You are still here, aren't you?”

 

Jonghyun licked his lips and sank down on the floor, humming. “Yeah.. I am.” he said lowly, voice similar to a trainer who is trying to calm down wild beast.

 

Kibum sighed and rubbed his face with trembling hands. “Have I gone nuts? Am I crazy?”

 

Hearing this, the ghost boy let out weak chuckle. “I'm not sure if I'm the right person to answer since, you know, I'm dead. So I'm kind of freak, too, aren't I?”

 

Jonghyun saw Kibum's lips twitch as he tried to hide his smile, but it was too late, Jonghyun saw it and was more than happy because he hasn't seen Kibum smiling in ages.

 

“I guess?” the boy said and slowly opened his cat-like eyes, landing them on Jonghyun who looked very relaxed, his back leaned against the wall. “Are you sure you're ghost? You're not sinking to the wall.. OR the floor.” the boy pointed out seriously, sitting up carefully as if he wasn't sure if Jonghyun wanted to hurt him.

 

Letting out small laugh, Jonghyun shook his head. “I know, I was disappointed, too. When I was alive, one thing I was looking forward to was walking through walls and being invisible so I could go and spy on people.” Jonghyun joked, lips stretching into grin and he found it weird how comfortable the air between them felt.

 

Kibum laughed despite trying to hold it in and when he realized it, he looked a bit surprised himself. Collecting his thoughts, he spoke again, this time biting his lip, looking insecure all of sudden. “How.. how long have you been here?”

 

Jonghyun cleared his throat and rubbed his nape. “A while.” he said but getting 'elaborate, please' stare from the boy, he sighed. “Couple of months? Maybe whole year? I.. don't really look at the time now, you know.”

 

Kibum gasped and jumped on his feet, startling the ghost who shot to his feet, too, looking around for any danger which was totally absrud but old habits die hard. “You can't be serious! You really are a freak, damn it! Have you watched me all the time? OH GOD, you have seen me naked!!” he almost shrieked and searched for something he could throw at the ghost.

 

Jonghyun paled but blushed furiously right a way, lifting his hands in front of himself in defense. “WHAT!! NO!! Fuck, Kibum, I have given you your privacy! And don't throw that at me, you will just freak out and faint again!” Jonghyun said with wild expression on his face as the boy lifted up a vase.

 

Probably catching up on meaning behind Jonghyun's words, Kibum let out small 'oh' and put down the vase before his eyes widened in realization. “Dear god, how do you know my name!”

 

Jonghyun rolled his eyes and laughed softly. “I have been here for almost year, of course I do know your name.”

 

That seemed to have calmed Kibum down before he grunted and rubbed his face, soon throwing himself on a couch. “I'm crazy..” he muttered before he looked at Jonghyun again. “Why are you here, ghost boy?”

 

Jonghyun wrinkled his nose and he could see small glint in Kibum's eyes before it was gone. “Thanks for reminding me that I died at such a young age, geez. I'm Jonghyun, okay?” he said and once the boy nodded but demanded his answer, he shrugged almost apologetically. “I have no idea. I tried to leave. Many times, but I couldn't. There's some.. force, trapping me inside.”

 

“That's weird.. because I don't know you.” Kibum said, frowning.

 

“Yeah, I know. I don't know you either. Which is pity, I tell you. If I would have met you when I was alive, I would definitely want to be your friend because you're seriously amazing person. There aren't many out there.” Jonghyun said, being honest as always.

 

“Y-yah! How can you be so straightforward?” Kibum said and Jonghyun noticed slight pink color on his cheeks which made him feel oddly proud.

 

“I have always been. I don't like lies or beating around the bush. When I feel something, I say it. Easy as that.” he shrugged, giving the boy one of his boyish grins.

 

“I still find it creepy.. that you know me so well because you stalked me.” the boy said and Jonghyun was about to protest, feeling embarrassed but Kibum didn't let him. “I know. If you can't leave, it's not really your fault but you see my point, right?”

 

And Jonghyun had to give him that because yes, he did understand so he nodded once. “Yeah, sorry.”

 

“Nah, don't apologize. It's not like I knew you were here. WHICH is creepy, but you didn't scare me to death so yeah. But I'm curious- Do you really have no idea why you're still here? I mean, when you die you don't stay here, you usually go to heaven, hell or whatever. No?” Kibum tilted his head to the side, looking really curious.

 

Jonghyun sighed and then chuckled softly. “Man, I am thirsty. I mean.. yeah.”

 

“I can get you a water.” Kibum answered automatically and then blushed just slightly. “Sorry, didn't realize..” he rubbed his nape and Jonghyun laughed softly, shaking his head.

 

“It's okay. But I think that if you drank it, I would feel just as satisfied since I can't drink it.” he grinned and the latter was looking at him if he was serious but seeing no sign of joking, he hummed and reluctantly stood up, saying soft 'okay..?' and going to kitched before coming back with glass of water. Jonghyun was surprised that the boy complied but he felt also accomplished because the boy actually drank. And so, he decided to reward him somehow. “To your question.. I really have no idea. I was sure I would go to heaven- hey! Don't look at me like that, I have a golden heart, you know.” he said when Kibum raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Well, as I was saying, I was sure I would go to heaven – no worries, nothing. Because I have no unfinished matters or something like that. I have lived the best I could, with no regrets and such. So I was very surprised to have awoken here – at a place I didn't know, with person I have never seen. I.. am not sure what I should do. And you know, I was actually a bit scared and sad. Because is this really how I will end up? Trapped in someone's apartment forever? But then..” he bit his lip and smiled softly at the boy who was sipping on a water, sitting on a couch with his knees hugged to his chest. “I saw you when you came home and you looked so happy, so lively, so I thought- Why not being happy watching someone who's obviously enjoying his life? I learned many things from you, Kibum, without you even realizing it. I watched you cooking and I think I could even cook now!” he chuckled. “From all activities, I loved your cooking the most. I could smell the food and it was mouth watering. So in the end, I was okay with just staying here because I wasn't bothering anyone and I had fun.” he finished and cleared his throat awkwardly. “Sorry, I talk a bit too much but it's been such a long time since I have talked to someone. I used to be very talkative.”

 

Kibum was silent for couple of minutes and Jonghyun was worried he screwed up when the boy parted his lips and spoke. “Yeah, me too.” Was the only answer he got and it was heart breaking how those three words described so many things at once.

_'Yeah, I was once talkative, too' 'Yeah, it's been a while since I have talked to someone, too' 'Yeah, I lived once, too'_

 

Jonghyun's hand was itching to caress Kibum's hand, he wanted to tell him that everything was okay now, that he will help him to find his happiness, but he knew that he had no right to say or do that. And even if he tried to do that, he would probably just freak out the boy because he couldn't really touch him. “If I could, I would be sitting right next to you and I would hug you because you seem to need comfort.” his mouth said sooner than he could stop those words from coming out and he wanted to slap himself when he saw how the boy's eyes widened and lips parted in surprise.  _Shit, that was so stupid of me. Idiot! He doesn't know you! You're a freak!_

 

“I.. probably do need that. But I don't want that. Never again.” Kibum's words were soft, sounding like a whisper but Jonghyun heard him clearly.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_J U N E_

 

It's been two months ever since Kibum has started seeing Jonghyun and the two of them could be described as friends. When Kibum woke up after he fainted and found the ghost boy there, he debated with himself whether he should make a scene again or just try to be calm and collected about it. In the end, it turned out to be the best thing that has happened to him past two months. The boy – Jonghyun – was very nice companion and Kibum felt at ease, almost too comfortable with him but he didn't complain. They talked a lot and it was that exact distraction Kibum needed. At first, he was embarrassed when he thought that Jonghyun has seen him naked but when the boy said he always gave him privacy, he felt better. Kibum couldn't help but notice once again just how handsome Jonghyun was, and his personality was no joke so the boy was even glad that this ghost was with him. Throughout those two months, Kibum's health got better because Jonghyun had wicked ways to make him eat and drink – even exercise. Jonghyun would beg Kibum to cook again because he wanted to 'learn how to cook and then cook for old people in heaven'. The boy knew that it was stupid and impossible but that didn't stop him from really cooking, even talking what he was doing so the boy could remember it and once the meal was done, Jonghyun would praise him for its delicious smell, saying it was pity he couldn't eat it. Yet it was enough for Kibum – enough for him to smile and feel better. Soon enough, the feline boy had to go grocery shopping and though he hated the idea, puppy eyes which was given to him by Jonghyun were enough to convice him to go.

 

It's been two months and Kibum got used to their routine of waking up, taking a shower, eating and then talking, getting comfortable on the couch. Kibum got to know Jonghyun. He found out that he had no siblings, that he worked in a music shop, selling music instruments as well CDs. He was honest and funny – a dork actually. He liked joking around, but when he got serious, his words were very deep and meaningful, also soothing and full of comfort. Talking to Jonghyun was very easy, and opening up to him was even easier which was scary because Kibum has never talked so much to anyone. Not even his past lovers. He told Jonghyun about his childhood, about how he started dancing and wanted to be a dancer but later, when he started reading books, he decided to be either writer or journalist which came true in time being.

Jonghyun really changed him, he realized. Not his personality, but it felt like he was being healed by some fairy who was, in this case, a ghost.

 

“I'm hungry.” Jonghyun whined, lying next to Kibum on his brand new bed.

 

“You're dead.” Kibum rolled his eyes, flipping pages through the magazine, his eyes lingering on each interview for few seconds.

 

“Now, I'm hurt.” the ghost boy huffed and Kibum rolled his eyes again.

 

“No, you're just bored.” he said, lips twitching as he tried to hide his smile.

 

It was always like this – them being playful and joking around without getting hurt even if either of them touched sensitive topic.

 

“Ugh, Kibum, I'm hungry!” Jonghyun sat up, ruffling his hair.

 

“Geez, you can't eat, Jonghyun.”

 

“But you can? If you cook and I can watch you and talk to you while you eat, I will feel like I'm eating too!”

 

“............. Aish, okay.” he mumbled and stood up, heading to the kitchen. “And stop grinning, you idiot.”

 

“But I'm happy.” Jonghyun grinned, following Kibum and sitting down to the table.

 

“Yeah, of course you are. You learned how to manipulate me.” Kibum accused him, poiting spatula at him before resuming his cooking.

 

Jonghyun laughed and shook his head. “That's not true. You're just naturally so sweet and caring.”

 

Kibum blushed very lightly over his words and mumbled something incoherrent.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_A U G U S T_

 

 

“I can't, Jjong.” Kibum shook his head, lip trapped in-between his teeth as he was looking on newspapers and an advertisement there.

 

“You need a job, Bummie. And this one is perfect. It's just selling an ice-cream. You will work with people but you don't have to make an unnecessary conversations with them so..” Jonghyun said, sitting close to Kibum.

 

Another two months passed and the bond between the two of boys just got stronger. Since they spent all the time together, they knew everything about each other and they knew each other's habits, favorite things, movies,  **everything.**  In the beggining of July, Kibum finally opened up to Jonghyun about his bad luck with his lovers and Jonghyun listened intently. When the boy talked about that bastard called Taeil, Jonghyun exploded and cursed at the man, saying how he would beat him up if he was alive and met him. He admitted that he has seen that man from the start and tried to kick him or warn Kibum but couldn't. To his surprise, Kibum just smiled softly and thanked him. Jonghyun was so surprised that he couldn't stop words which escaped his lips.  _You're so perfect, Bummie. If I could, I would hug you right now._  He also tried to make the boy believe that he is not just body, but something more. He tried to convice him to believe that he just found bad lovers if they were only after his body, because he was so much more than that. He was sweet, nice and funny, beautiful inside out. That seemed to flatter Kibum because he blushed and smiled.  _Thank you, Jjong._  He said softly. And that's how their nicknames were created.

 

“I still feel anxious around people. I have been alone. Or well, with just you for so long that I don't know how to talk to people.” the boy said, biting his lip once again.

 

“You will figure it out, don't worry. Yah, stop biting that lip, it's abused enough, you will break it in a moment.” Jonghyun scolded him and instictively reached out his hand before letting it fall back down. “I wanted to ruffle your hair. Soothe you like that. It sucks, that I can't really do it.” he sighed, sounding really sad like always when something like that happens.

 

Kibum's chest felt like it was squeezed by someone when he saw Jonghyun's sad expression and he couldn't handle it, he didn't want him to be sad or hurt, so even though he was really scared about the job, he tried to cheer Jonghyun up. “Okay. I will go to that interview tomorrow. By the way, Jjong.. I would love a gesture like that.” he smiled widely, showing his dimple and Jonghyun could swear that if his heart would have been beating, it would skip a beat.

 

He was very happy and his wide smile surely reflected that. “Amazing! I'm sure they will take you and you will love it!” he said happily.

 

“I.. I hope so.” Kibum said and couldn't help but smile when Jonghyun's gloomy expression was exchanged by happy smile – he really loved seeing the boy happy.

 

 

 

_* * *_

 

 

 

_S E P T E M B E R_

 

 

Kibum walked into his apartment and plopped down on a couch, groaning and rubbing his face. His work was killing him but not for usual reasons. He wouldn't complain about amount of work because it was really fun. He greeted customers, sold them ice-cream and many times stole some of sweet treat even for himself. Yes, Kibum passed the interview month ago and now worked in an ice-cream parlor not far away from his apartment.The day he got hired was very happy yet strangely sad for the boy because once he came home to Jonghyun who was  ~~im~~ patiently waiting for him, and he happily announced he was being hired, Jonghyun cheered for him, doing small happy dance, grinning but then, he opened his arms, ready to squeeze the life out of boy when he realized he couldn't do it. It was very disappointing for both of boys and happy mood was quickly over-shadowed with gloomy one. Jonghyun was one to break it as always though, by singing to Kibum and embarrassing him. Ever since then, Kibum's become lively and never once he has complained about work until one day when unfamiliar man stopped in a parlor and asked for ice-cream. He flirted with Kibum who pretended not to notice because he wasn't ready for that. The man seemed to understand and left, but ever since then he has kept coming back to parlor just to buy an ice-cream and talk to Kibum. He was really stubborn and it made Kibum's walls shake a bit.

 

“Hey, Bummie, welcome home.” Jonghyun said with smile and sat down next to the said boy.

 

“Mhhm, hi, Jjong.” the greeted him back and sounded completely exhausted.

 

“Ah, did he come back again?” Jonghyun asked knowingly.

 

“Yeah. He asked me out again. And I rejected politely – again.” Kibum sighed softly. “The worst of all is, that he seems to be genuinely interested, Jjong. I'm.. I'm just so insecure.”

 

Jonghyun bit his lip, trying to shove away the pain that crawled slowly into his heart when he heard the boy talk about that unfamiliar man. It seemed like the boy wanted to try dating again but was too afraid and Jonghyun felt hurt because his feelings for Kibum has only grown in past months.  _But he can't be yours, you're dead,_ he repeated to himself, fighting the urge to claw at his heart because it hurt. He knew that. He knew he couldn't be the one for the boy and he wanted Kibum to be happy so he had to try convice Kibum to open up slowly to other people as well.

 

“Hey.. you're strong boy, Bummie. And you're perfect, don't be insecure. You.. you have to start again once. And this man has been courting you for a month. Maybe you could try to give him a chance?” he said in soft voice.

 

Kibum looked at him with that vulnerable expression which broke Jonghyun's heart. How could someone so amazing be broken so badly? “I'm afraid. I don't want to be hurt again.” he whispered and Jonghyun once again reached out his hand to caress Kibum's one, but just like always, he let it fall by his side.

 

“I know. No one wants to be hurt. But it's been too long, Bummie. You need to start living and loving again. I know it's been too painful but you have to try again. Take a risk. Because.. what if THIS one is the one? Those 'what if's will kill you later. You can go slowly about it. Just go on a dinner and you will see how it will turn out, hm? If.. if something will go wrong, I'm always here, Bummie. You will never be alone to bear that pain.” Jonghyun said in that soothing yet persuative voice.

 

“I would hug you right now and thank you. Because you're just so amazing.” Kibum said shakily, surprising the ghost boy. “Okay, I will go.” he nodded with small smile, thanking Jonghyun again.

 

Jonghyun wanted to be happy, he really did, but he didn't find it in himself in that moment.

 

 

Just like Kibum said, he agreed to go on a date with the man – Yangmin – but Jonghyun didn't expect him to go on that day on his birthday because he wanted to spend the boy's birthday with him. So when Kibum texted him, saying he won't be home till late, Jonghyun was disappointed and actually hurt. He knew that he couldn't give the boy proper gift but he wanted to sing for him and he had so many things planned. Since he wouldn't be able to cook for Kibum, he wanted to give him instructions and the boy would cook it so it would look like Jonghyun cooked it himself. But it was all shattered by that one text which made Jonghyun gloomy. _At least he's happy, even if he's spending it with someone else,_ he thought, nodding to himself before another, bitter part of himself laughed at him.  _Yes, at least he's not wasting his time with someone dead, but is enjoying life like he should._  After that thought, Jonghyun's heart was squeezed and he winced, shaking his head, repeating to himself not to be stupid, but the pain wouldn't go away.

It was past midnight when Kibum opened the door of his apartment and entered it, his cheeks tinted with slight blush and his lips stretched into happy smile. His day was really amazing. Agreeing to the date was really very good idea because Kibum found himself enjoying Yangmin's company. He was decent guy who liked to laugh and he complimented Kibum a lot. Even though the feline boy couldn't open up right a way, Yangmin assured him that it's okay, that he's not rushing anything and it was true. Kibum has never had more comfortable and nicer date. Squealing lowly, he palmed his cheeks and turned around, just to be greeted by smiling Jonghyun. Kibum could swear there was something different about Jonghyun, but he couldn't tell what it was.

 

“So? How was your date?” Jonghyun asked, lifting corner of his mouth up into smile.

 

“It.. It was amazing Jjong! I had so much fun! He's such a gentleman and so funny. He talks a lot but also listens well! And he took me on a dinner to this cozy place.. Then we went for a walk and he was so shy, bumping his hand into mine many times before he actually found a courage and held my hand! I'm so happy, Jjong. Even his kissing is so nice!” he laughed in joy, covering his pink cheeks.

 

Jonghyun chuckled and shook his head. “I'm very happy for you, Bummie. You really deserve that.”

 

“Thank you. It's all thanks to you, Jjong. I'm very thankful.” he smiled widely, opening his arms for a hug before he smiled sadly. “I would hug you right now.”

 

“I know.” Jonghyun breathed out.

 

Kibum just smiled sadly again before walking toward the bathroom. He felt so sad that he couldn't do normal things with Jonghyun but his sadness was over-shadowed by happiness from his date. Once he took a shower and then slipped under his blankets, he smiled and wished Jonghyun good night before closing his eyes. For some reason, he couldn't fall asleep but it seemed like Jonghyun thought he was asleep because he spoke in very low, soft and seemingly hurt voice.

 

“Good night, Bummie. Happy birthday.”

 

His last words hit Kibum with enormous stregth, almost making him gasp. It was his birthday but he has forgotten about it. Jonghyun didn't though and Kibum felt like crying because he wanted to spend his birthday with the boy – they were talking about it before and Kibum just threw it away because of date. His eyes watered but he didn't dare to move or open his eyes, he just kept blaming himself. That night, Kibum couldn't fall asleep for a long time.

 

 

After that day, Kibum got many dates with Yangmin which shortened his time with Jonghyun but each time the boy would come home, Jonghyun was there, ready to listen about how perfect the other man was, how perfect their dates were and how Kibum was happy with him. What Kibum didn't notice was the pain he was causing to the ghost boy.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_D E C E M B E R_

 

 

“I.. I should have never tried again.” Kibum said with broken voice, currently wrapped in a blanket and lying on the bed.

 

Unfortunately, his relationship with Yangmin didn't last long because the man was annoyed by the fact that Kibum always mentioned his 'best friend' Jonghyun. The thing was that Kibum did it without even noticing because he was so used and so dependant on the ghost boy, so mentioning him was something he didn't even realize until Yangmin said he was breaking up with him. He said few reasons but Kibum was hurt the most when the man said he didn't like the way Kibum was clinging to every single thing he has ever said or done. He said that Kibum wasn't good lover mentally nor physically.

 

“Jjong, if I'm not even good as a body, then what the hell is good about me?” his voice broke as he let out sob into blanket he was hugging. “Those.. those people before said they liked me for my body but Y-yangmin said my body wasn't good either, s-so what..” he winced and shook his head, closing his eyes – it just hurt him too much.

 

“Bummie, please..” Jonghyun pleaded, his heart aching at the sight of the boy crying again. He wanted to hug him and kiss away those tears, and the fact that he couldn't made him so frustrated. “Please, don't do this to yourself, Bummie. You are perfect the way you are. Everything about you is amazing, it's those bastards who can't appreciate you.” Jonghyun kept talking, shifting closer to the boy as if it could help. “You must understand this, Bummie. You.. have to love yourself before you will let someone else to love you.” he said softly but the boy heard him, looking up, confused.

 

“What? Don't talk in riddles.” the boy pouted lightly which was very adorable if you asked Jonghyun who chuckled softly, lifting up his hand to wipe Kibum's tears but he didn't get too close before he took his hand back.

 

“Those are not riddles, silly. It's just.. You need to respect and love yourself first. You must know how precious you are, you need to like yourself for everything about you so you will know what you are worth of, what you deserve. You are amazing, Bummie, you just need to see and accept it. You can't.. can't keep loosing yourself each time someone says you're not the one for them. They don't like the way you are? Screw them! You will find someone better. And even if you won't.. You should be dependant on yourself. You don't need a lover to be happy. You can enjoy life until your real love will find you. No man nor a woman should be able to destroy you like this. Life is too short to throw it away for love that isn't even true love.” Jonghyun talked with hint of pleading and urgency in his voice, wanting the boy to understand what he was talking about.

 

Kibum stayed frozen on his spot, Jonghyun's words sinking in slowly and suddenly, he felt like an idiot because he didn't know this all himself. He needed someone to tell him that. But strangely, he felt much better, trying to consider Jonghyun's words because he was right. Kibum has always tried to be himself but he didn't do it for himself, he has always hoped that his partners will like him.  _I can't keep going on like this,_ he realized and last tears spilled from his eyes as he looked into ghost boy's brown eyes. “I- I would love you to hug me right now.” he whimpered, burying his face into the blanket when Jonghyun's soft 'Me too' filled his ears.

 

 

 

_* * *_

 

 

 

_M A R C H_

 

 

In next two months, after Kibum's last heartbreak and his conversation with Jonghyun, many things changed. Kibum got on his feet and even talked about changing his job and starting as a journalist again which led him and Jonghyun to go through his old articles because Jonghyun was curious. And that's when the two of boys found connection between each other. It turned out that Kibum was the one who wrote an article about the car crash that Jonghyun was in but back then, Kibum wasn't in good health condition and he has never actually got to see the bodies involved in the accident so Kibum forgot about it. They still had no idea why was Jonghyun trapped there and what should he do to go to another world.

Other than that, they both spent more time together, making their bond even stronger even though Kibum still tried dating – one boy and one girl – but it never lasted more than three weeks. Surprisingly though, it was always Kibum who broke up with them because he didn't feel like he liked them enough to be with them. It wasn't like Kibum was picky, he just didn't feel all that great with them. He liked spending time with Jonghyun more. And then it hit him – he realized why he couldn't settle with anyone. He realized why there were always things that annoyed him about others but he found none about Jonghyun. Him and Jonghyun has been practically living together for one whole year and Kibum would never want to change something about the ghost boy because he was perfect.  _Shit, but he's a ghost. I can't- we can't.._ he thought hopelessly one day while walking home from work.  _And I don't even know if he feels the same.._ sighing, he started walking faster, already missing the other boy. He thoughts that he was very stupid since he diidn't realize it sooner. He must have loved the boy ever since he was dating Yangmin – or even sooner maybe? But he was so used to being with Jonghyun all the time, hanging on everything he said and done that he didn't even try to think about how he felt about him. Of course, he found himself staring at the boy few times, just like Jonghyun stared at him, but he didn't think more about it. Now that he looked at it, it was really obvious. And it was terrible because Kibum will never be able to have Jonghyun. But he was also content because the person he loved was really his everything – someone who understoond him, knew him and genuinely cared for him. It was this realization that made him smile so happily, so sweetly as he opened the door and entered his apartment.

 

“I'm home!” he called out for Jonghyun, his stomach trembling in anticipation from seeing the ghost boy. But why there were goosebumps all over his body? Why did he feel so cold all of sudden? “Jjong? Where are you?”

 

“I- I'm here, Bummie.” Jonghyun said, standing in front of Kibum with scared and pained expression on his face.

 

He didn't need to say anything but Kibum understood. Looking at the boy, he almost couldn't see him because he was too trasparent. “W-what..” Kibum stuttered, tears already gathering in his eyes.

 

“I don't know what's going on but I.. I feel like there's something pulling me away Bummie.” his voice cracked and Kibum whimpered, his arms instinctively reaching out.

 

“No.. No, no no no.. This can't be happening, not now!” he cried out, stepping close to the ghost boy, looking into those sad eyes.

 

“I- I'm so sorry, Bummie. We knew it was bound to happen.” he whispered.

 

“I know, but this.. this is too soon, Jjong! You can't leave me! Not now!” Kibum shook his head, breaths becoming faster as he started to panic. “NO! You can't.. Jjong, you don't understand. I can't live without you..” he whimpered.

 

“You.. will find a way to cope, Bummie, I'll watch over you from wherever I'll go.” Jonghyun said in broken voice.

 

“Did you heal me just to break me beyond repair, Jjong?” the boy sobbed softly.

 

“No, no, of course not. You will.. you will find a way how to live, Bummie, you're strong.” Jonghyun pleaded, hating to see the boy cry.

 

“But I love you..” Kibum whispered but Jonghyun heard him, his breath hitching before he smiled lovingly, his whole body feeling too light all of sudden and his chest was bursting out of happiness.

 

“I love you too, Bummie. More than anything.” he said softly and reached out his hand, this time really trying to caress Kibum's cheek which the boy felt and closed his eyes before Jonghyun faded completely.

 

The boy felt suddenly so empty, so dizzy that he couldn't stay on his legs, sinking down to the floor without any sound. He was too shocked, too hurt to react right a way.  _I love you too, Bummie._  Kibum's eyes snapped open when he realized that Jonghyun has confessed to him too, and pained whimper left his lips because his chest and heart felt like it was torn into pieces.

 

“No.. no, please. Come back, Jjong..” he whimpered, fisting his t-shirt near his heart, letting out gasp since he felt like he couldn't bear the pain, couldn't breath.

 

It was too much – just when he found the love, it was taken away from him.  _It was bound to happen,_ he tried to reason out with himself but it was a waste of time because he didn't want to think rationally. He knew that it would happen sooner or later, but he refused to accept it.

 

“NO!!! Don't take him away from me!” he shouted, crying like a child who has lost the most important thing in the world.

 

His breath was hitching and whole body shaking, but he couldn't find a strength to stop or move, he felt too weak and numb for that so he stayed there, lying on the floor and crying for his love – again. But this pain was much worse from any other he has gone through before because this was pain from real heart break. Because he has found a man who became his other half even without any physical contact. Because he found a man, who taught him how to love himself.

Whimpering at this thought, the boy curled into the ball and hugged himself, letting all those tears and cries come out freely.

 

“You're so cruel.. leaving me here like this.” he whispered in-between gasps for an air.

 

He really wanted to hate the ghost boy for being with him for such a long time and then leaving just like that, but he knew he couldn't. He could never Jonghyun. And he knew that it wasn't Jonghyun's fault either. The boy knew just as little about his condition as Kibum. Jonghyun could do nothing in his situation and Kibum understood it – he just hated it so much.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_J U N E_

 

 

Kibum was walking around the city aimlessly, enjoying the sun warming his pale skin and looking around, watching all those people around him. Seeing a little girl asking her brother to carry her with her cute pouty lips, Kibum smiled and sighed softly. It was his day off of the work and he couldn't spend it in his apartment because it was too lonely.

The boy was fine – or, better said, he was better. When the ghost boy he loved disappeared three months ago, Kibum was a mess. He didn't sleep, didn't eat and didn't drink. It was very bad and looked like the boy has given up on life – which he was planning to do, thinking that maybe he would be able to meet Jonghyun then. But it was in the middle of May when he was on a hospital bed that he remembered something the ghost boy told him.  _No man nor a woman should be able to destroy you like this._  Jonghyun wouldn't like it if he saw him in this state. The opposite – the boy would be disappointed that Kibum let himself suffer like that. And so, Kibum tried to get better. He would eat and drink, sleep and even try to interact with people. And he succeeded, indeed, even though he always cried in the evenings, thinking about those puppy-like eyes and plump lips which would always stretch into that silly grin. The boy realized he couldn't bear being in that apartment alone so he spent most of the time outside, wandering around or being at work. He has concidered selling his apartment but he was too attached to it. If he would sell it, he would loose everything about the boy he loved because that place was the only connection between him and Jonghyun – that place held too many memories with the ghost boy to be sold.

Sighing softly again, the boy crossed the road and walked toward huge park he liked so much. It wasn't because of the people there, it wasn't even because of beautiful scenery that he liked it so much. No, he loved that scent in the air which reminded him of the only person who ever cared deeply for him. It reminded him of Jonghyun. And even though his heart ached because the boy wasn't with him, he felt small flame surrounding his heart, reminding him that it was worth it – loving Jonghyun was really worth all the pain, after all.

The boy's thoughts were interrupted by sudden weird feeling in his chest.  _Huh?_ He shivered and frowned, trying to shake off the feeling, but before he could even blink, his body was surrounded by something solid and warm. Kibum's whole body was tingling with something he has never felt and sudden realization made him gasp – he was being hugged by some stranger, feeling his hot breath tickling his neck. Kibum's heart started being like crazy and he froze in shock but after a moment he got to his senses and opened his mouth to scream for help. However, when he looked up, the only sound that left his lips was embarrassing whimper.

The boy's eyes were wide and his lips trembling as his eyes was staring into another pair of brown eyes. Those eyes he knew so well were now staring lovingly at him as the man cupped his cheeks.  _J-jong?_

 

“I have finally found you, Bummie.”

 

 

 

 

**~ ¤  T h e     E n d  ¤  ~**


	2. EXTRA - Alive For You

“Bummie..” his lips formed those words but his voice was strangely rough, throat hurting from even trying to say the name aloud.

 

Jonghyun didn't remember what happened after confessing to Kibum, he just remembered feeling too light, feeling nothing but euphoria from the other boy's words.  _But I love you._  The boy's lips curled into soft smile – or better said, he tried to smile but couldn't do it properly, having something restricting his lips.

 

_**BEEP … BEEP … BEEP …** _

 

Jonghyun furrowed his eyebrows when unpleasant sound got to his sensitive ears and he tried to shake his head as if to push away the sound but it didn't help at all, so he groaned weakly and slowly fluttered his eyes open. Sharp bright light blinded him and he whimpered, closing his eyes again.  _What.. heaven?_ His heart skipped a beat and he slowly opened his eyes again so he could look around. Was heaven really like people described it in their books? Would he be among flowers and clouds and see anything that made him happy? Looking around curiously, he frowned upon seeing blue curtains and white walls. This wasn't heaven – but what it was? Groaning again, he closed his eyes and clenched his fists, which was hard because there was something around his forefingers. Jonghyun heard some weird noises reminding doors and rustling of sheets but he didn't pay attention to it. Was he really needed in this place? Needed that much that he had to leave the only person who needed him?

 

“Bummie..” the name escaped his lips over the thought of the boy.

 

“Oh my god! OH my! Doctor Park! Doctor Park, come here! Quickly! The boy!” some high pitched voice shouted, startling Jonghyun who jolted a bit at the sudden sound.

 

“What? What's wrong?” another voice was heard and Jonghyun could feel a headache forming so he slowly opened his eyes to glare at people who were there.

 

“He woke up! Oh god, that boy woke up!” the same female voice shouted and Jonghyun's eyes finally could focus on people in the room who were now looking at him with surprised expressions.

 

…........

 

….....

 

…..

 

..

 

 _WAIT! They are looking at me! They see me!_  He shouted internally and flinched when suddenly, large hand appeared in front of his eyes, touching it before the light suddenly hit them and Jonghyun groaned and tried to look away from it.

 

“Oh boy, you.. Can you hear me? Hey, mister, can you hear me?” the man asked and Jonghyun rolled his eyes.

 

“Of course I do.. I can see you, too, please, turn off the light.” Jonghyun's voice, muffled by mask was heard.

 

The doctor laughed softly and apologized, touching the boy on his wrist before checking his temperature and other things.

 

“W-what happened?” Jonghyun croaked out, looking at the man.

 

“Oh, yes. You were in a car accident.”

 

“I know that. But I died.” he said, confused about whole situation he was in.

 

The man looked at him before chuckling and shaking his head, running some easy tests while talking. “No, you didn't, but you were close to that. You were in coma for two years now, young man. We thought we have lost you but.. it seems that miracle has happened.” the doctor said softly and Jonghyun's heart skipped few beats again.

 

He wasn't dead. He was still alive. “Oh god, I'm alive!” he said suddenly, trying to smile while tears spilled from his eyes.

 

“Yes, you are. Fortunate. We called your parents, they should be here soon. I will tell nurses to bring you something to eat, rest for now.” the man patted his shoulder before leaving the room.

 

 _I'm alive.._  he thought happily and closed his eyes. This meant so many things – but the most important was, that he could go find Kibum. He could find a boy and finally talk to him and hug him like he has always craved for. He could do so many things with the boy! Just this thought made him laugh weakly but still happily. It was amazing feeling and he didn't know whom to thank for this chance.  _God. Maybe. Thank you, Lord, for giving me this chance. I will never let go of it. Never ever,_ he said in his mind, smiling, before he fell asleep again, suddenly exhaused from everything.

 

When he woke up again, he was surrounded by his parents and friends which were more than happy to see Jonghyun alive again. They cried and talked to him a lot, and the boy was happy, of course, but bigger part of him was still empty because Kibum wasn't there. His Kibum was probably broken, crying at home because he was left alone again.

Jonghyun didn't waste any time and asked to go home, but the doctor refused to let him go for at least a week because they still needed to do some examinations. They said that Jonghyun didn't realize it but it was big deal that he woke up and they needed to make sure that he was completely okay before they would let him leave hospital. And so, Jonghyun put up with it.

Once he was released from hospital, he started looking for Kibum right a way but didn't know where to start. This stupid man didn't know the address of Kibum's apartment because he never left it and never had in mind to ask Kibum. So he had absolutely nothing. He tried to search through the company he worked for as a journalist but no one wanted to give him the address because it was private and they couldn't just hand addresses of their employees to strangers. Jonghyun was angry but he knew they were right so he gave up and tried to search for the boy some other way. He couldn't go to the police because they would arrest him for stalking since he couldn't tell them that he has lived with the boy as ghost, and he knew no one from Kibum's friends or anyone at all. Three months later, he was on verge of giving up when he suddenly remembered the address of ice-cream parlor Kibum worked at. He was the one suggesting it to the boy after all. Grinning, he immediately went to that address because it couldn't be hard to find the boy if that parlor was close to his apartment, right?  _Right,_ he assured himself as he walked down the street. He didn't really look around himself because he had clear destination but suddenly, something prickled on his nape and he looked around just to see the man he hated the most.  _You were too easy, Kibum, naïve. I loved your body and the fact that you did everything for me. I will definitely miss your body but that's all. That's all it was to me. I've been seeing people while 'dating' you and.. I'm not sorry. You are too damn hyperactive and excited about every little thing._  Growl escaped his throat involuntary when he remembered how that man – Taeil – said all those cruel things to Kibum, how he cheated on him in his apartment, and the boy couldn't stop himself anymore. He walked straight to the male who was now talking with some girl and he tapped him on the shoulder. Once Taeil turned around, Jonghyun didn't even give him a chance to look at him properly before he punched him right into his face, earning pained moan from the man.

 

“That's for all that bullshit you've done to Kibum.” he spat before turning to the girl. “If you're even a bit smart, you won't stay with him, he will probably cheat on you like he did to his previous lovers.” Jonghyun said before turning around and walking to his destination, feeling much better now that he could do the thing he has craved before.

 

Once he came to the ice-cream parlor, he couldn't help but smile when he imagined Kibum standing there and selling the sweet treat. His smile was replaced by small frown though because he had no idea where to go from there.

 

“Ah, Bummie, where are you?” he mumbled and ruffled his hair, deciding to go rest in a nearby park before he would resume his searching.

 

He entered the park and looked around, smiling at all those people who were obviously having fun and enjoying warm weather. Suddenly, his heart skipped a beat just like that.  _Huh? What was that?_ He blinked and put hand on his heart before curiously looking around. What was that sensation he felt just now? His heartbeat got faster as he was looking around until his eyes landed on very familiar figure.  _Bummie,_ his heart skipped a beat again and Jonghyun grinned widely. He was there, his love was walking right in front of him and he looked as beautiful as ever. He probably stayed strong like Jonghyun wanted and didn't break down completely, that's why he was shining right now. Biting his lip, Jonghyun took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down but he couldn't hold it in any longer so he walked straight to Kibum and hugged him wordlessly, squeezing him tightly as he held him close to him. It was intimate gesture but he couldn't start behaving like a stranger when he lived with boy for almost two years. He could feel how the boy froze in his arms but he didn't let go. Only after a while he pulled slightly away to look at Kibum who looked like he was about to scream but then his eyes widened as if he has seen a ghost. Jonghyun laughed at this thought internally before he smiled lovingly at the boy.

 

“I have finally found you, Bummie.” he whispered lovingly.


End file.
